The Diary
by SMichaelM
Summary: Narcissa 15 stumbles along her mother's diary and finds out that the Black girls are not Blacks. How will this affect her relationship with her sisters and the marauders? Mostly NB/SB and BB/RL. Rated T for talk about sex. Inspired by image on acciobrain.
1. Chapter 1

Fifteen-year-old Narcissa Black was rummaging through the Black House attic. It was her favorite pastime. She used the attic as a hide-out from her nearly abusive father, Cygnus Black and her withdrawn mother, Druella Rosier Black.

The attic was contained trunks full of old school things dating back to Phineas Nigellus Black I, old dresses from Great Aunt Something-or-other, and diaries from every female Black since the Black Family occupied Grimmauld Place.

At the moment, Narcissa was searching through a trunk of diaries and saw one with black leather binding and with silver embroidery spelling out the name Druella Rosier.

"Huh," Narcissa said to herself. "I thought only Black diaries were up here, what is Mother's doing in this old trunk? She's alive."

Narcissa started reading through the diary, laughing at her mother in her teenage years. Narcissa's laughter died when she came upon a certain passage that would change her life.

J_uly 1, 1960_

_Dear Diary,_

_My wedding was yesterday. I married a kid, Cygnus Black. Are my parents that desperate for more money and pure blooded grandchildren that I married a prepubescent kid?! I got extremely drunk off my arse last night and I left the reception. I went to a muggle bar and hit it off with the bartender. He took me to his place and frankly we had really great sex. I woke up with his arms around me and obviously I had no idea where I was and he calmly explained everything to me. I told him I had to go before my husband's family found out, like Cygnus would care, he doesn't even know what sex is, and he gave me his phone number (whatever the bloody hell that is) and his name, Connor Ipo._

_D.R._

Narcissa kept reading to see what happened with her mother and her mother's lover.

_March 30, 1961_

_Dear Diary,_

_Holy Merlin! I had my baby today, I named her Andromeda. I'll let you in on a little secret, I still haven't consummated my marriage with Cygnus yet and I probably won't for a while, he's still a KID! I'm bringing little Andie to see Connor when she's a little older, she seems so fragile and small. I hope he likes her. I already love her so much._

Narcissa stopped reading, she was breathing hard, not believing her older sister was not a Black, that she herself may not be a Black. She quickly flipped to 1962, the year Bella was born. She skimmed the page and confirmed her suspicions. Bella was illegitimate as well. Scrunching her eyes up she flipped to where 1963 was and slowly opened her eyes. "I'm taking Narcissa to see Connor tonight" seemed to blare on the page. She snapped the book shut, shoved it in the trunk, and slammed the top closed, sitting on it as if to prevent the dairy from breaking out and screaming its contents to the world. Narcissa shoved the heels of her palms into her eyes. i This must be a dream--a nightmare! I can't be a half-blood!/i The door the attic banged open and Narcissa jumped off the trunk.

"Narcissa!" Bella shouted. "What are you up here for? We're going to be late for the Express!"

"I'm coming, Bella," Narcissa muttered.

"You better be packed."

"I am."

Bella left the room and made her way back down the stairs. Narcissa looked at the trunk, contemplating showing her sisters the diary. She flipped open the lid, snatched the book and ran down the stairs after her sister.

Narcissa sat in the corner of the silent compartment she shared with her sisters on the Hogwarts Express contemplating telling her sisters. Before she could make up her mind, Andromeda suddenly said, "Can I tell you guys a secret?"

"Of course," Narcissa said.

"Sure," Bella said, looking out the window.

"You can't tell anyone. Seriously. Mother and Father would disown me if they knew."

Now Bella was interested. "Tell us."

"Promise first. A sister pact," Andromeda demanded.

"Fine."

"Sure."

"You know how I disappeared a lot over the summer. Well, I met a boy and not just any boy--a muggle," Andromeda started.

Narcissa and Bella gasped, each for different reasons.

"I know, I know! But he's just so charming and sweet and I love him," Andromeda sighed, dreamily.

"Andromeda! If Mother knew..." Bella yelled.

"She won't know!" Andromeda interrupted.

"Mother would care, but not for the reason you're thinking, Bella," Narcissa piped up quietly.

"What do you know?" Bella snapped.

"I was reading her diary," Narcissa paused to pull it out of her trunk. "We're all illegitimate children. Our real father is a muggle."

She tossed the book to Bella. "Read it for yourself."

Andromeda tore the book out of Bella's hands and started to read the passage aloud. "March 30, 1961. Dear Diary, Holy Merlin! I had my baby today, I named her Andromeda. I'll let you in on a little secret, I still haven't consummated my marriage with Cygnus yet and I probably won't for a while, he's still a KID! I'm bringing little Andie to see Connor when she's a little older, she seems so fragile and small. I hope he likes her. I already love her so much. But first I have to get rid of Cygnus. I'll send him to a quidditch match, that'll keep him occupied for a while. D.R."

"So that means you're illegitimate, but that doesn't necessarily mean Narcissa and I are," Bella said, grappling onto any excuse that would mean she was a pureblood.

"Don't you think I haven't already checked!" Narcissa spat acidly. "We are not Blacks!"

"Keep it down, Cissa," Bella hissed.

"She called me 'Andie' in her diary. Why hasn't she called me by that since then?" Andromeda wondered.

"Because that would remind her of this Connor fellow," Narcissa explained. "I think she loved him."

"I wondered what happened to him," Andromeda said.

Bella, who was busy searching for non existent evidence proving she in fact was a Black, threw the book across the compartment and let out a frustrated scream.

"So, are we going to tell Mother that we know or any one for that matter?" Bella asked after she calmed down.

"I'm going to tell Ted!" Andromeda squealed.

"Who?" Bella sneered.

"My boyfriend!"

"The muggle," Bella said with pursed lips.

"Yes," Andromeda responded tersely.

"I'm going to tell Sirius," Narcissa mumbled.

"Gonna tell me what, Cis?" Sirius Black said from the doorway, his head the only part of him visible.

"Nothing," Narcissa squeaked.

"Are the rest of you hooligans around?" Bella asked, trying not to look interested.

"Miss me, Bellatrix?" Remus Lupin asked, opening the door so he could be seen.

"In your dreams, Lupin," Bella snapped, inwardly smiling that he guessed who she was talking about and that he called her 'Bellatrix'. He didn't know it, but he was the only one she would let get away with that.

"Sure," he smiled.

"Hmph."

"Why are you two always bugging these fine young ladies?" James Potter asked, opening the door wider yet so he could be seen.

"Because you lot don't have lives," Bella offered, a sarcastic smile plastered on her face.

"Because we don't like them."

"I think its quite the opposite, actually," James grinned mischievously, pulling the other two boys out of the compartment before they could defend themselves.

"What was that about? 'Quite the opposite, actually.' What does he know?" Bella grumbled.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"So what were you going to tell me?" Sirius asked Narcissa. They were alone in an empty classroom.

"I'm going to deny Lucius' eventual proposal," she answered.

"Any particular reason?"

"I found that I--" she stopped, seeing Bellatrix in the window. "I found that I have other options," she continued, although changing what she was going to say.

"Hmm," he smirked.

"Excuse me," she said, exiting the classroom and running after her sister.

"If he talks, then all of Hogwarts will know and Mother would die of embarrassment," Bellatrix explained, not needing to be asked.

"If I asked him not to talk, then he wouldn't," Narcissa explained.

"It doesn't matter," Bella snapped. "We didn't get a chance to talk over our course of action yet."

"Okay," Narcissa conceded. "I'll wait."

"Unless we decide to go along with this façade, then there will be no telling him," Bella warned her sister.

"But, I would be free to marry--" she shouted. "--for love," she whispered to her sister. Marrying for love was a stroke of luck during their lifetime. Every girl had her fantasy of finding true love to sweep her off her feet, but being pureblood meant arranged marriages and it wouldn't do to get one's hopes up.

"We all would be, but that doesn't make a difference. Mother's decision is something we need to take into account. She made it for a reason," Bella said, a sad look crossing her face.

"Then we should tell her that we know, she may change her decision, we may meet Connor," Narcissa countered, excitement evident in her voice.

"Maybe I still want to be pureblood," Bella hissed.

"But then you'd have to marry Rodolphus and we both know you want to marry--" Narcissa started. grinning.

"Yes! We know and no one else," Bella cut her off.

"Know what?" Andromeda asked, coming up behind her younger sisters.

"That Bella wants to marry--"

"Hey, crowded corridor, Narcissa!" Bella shouted, cutting her off.

"O-oh, I know," Andromeda smiled.

"How do you know?"

"Because I'm your sister, Bella," she responded.

"Well guess what, sorry to burst your bubble, but you can't tell anyone about..." Bella trailed off.

"Why? Ted wouldn't tell anyone."

"Because we haven't discussed if we're going to tell or not. We have to think about Mother, there's a reason she didn't run off with _him_," Bella told her sister.

"Money, power, to save herself from embarrassment," Andromeda listed. "But we can be happy if we tell her that we know."

"She has a point, Bella," Narcissa said.

"So as the oldest sister, I say that we compromise. We write to Mother and tell no one else. When we hear from her, then we discuss our positions again. Agreed?" Andromeda decided.

"Agreed," Bella and Narcissa responded.

"Now we're going to be late for breakfast, let's go," Andromeda announced, moving the sisters to normal conversation.

Narcissa sat at the top of the South Tower, the spot with the perfect view of the Quidditch Pitch. She watched Sirius and James fly expertly on the Gryffindor team against Ravenclaw. Her sisters were in the stands, Andromeda rooting for her house, Ravenclaw and Bella secretly rooting for Gryffindor because she secretly loves when Remus Lupin gloats the Gryffindor win at her. Narcissa opened her own diary, charmed to open only for her, and read her lastest entry.

_Dear Diary,_

_Lupin and Bella are becoming more obvious by the minute. Don't they know that we can see their mutual affection for each other? I think its because they don't have to be afraid of social boundries anymore, at least that's what I think Bella's reasoning is. I think Lupin is just becoming more adventurous. And all Andromeda ever talks about is Ted Tonks. He's so this, he's so that! You wouldn't think she was a Ravenclaw the way she goes on and on. Says she's going to marry him one day, even if we don't tell anyone about Mother's diary. I wish I could tell Sirius. Before I knew about Mother's diary, I thought I was going insane, crushing on my own cousin, but now I know that he's not and maybe I'll be able to have a chance with him..._

Narcissa stopped writing when she heard footsteps thumping up the stairwell.

_...I have to go, someone's coming._

_-N._I

Narcissa placed the charms back on her diary and shoved it in her bag just as the door opened, admitting the person she had just been dreaming about.

"Did you see the game?" Sirius asked, dropping onto the seat next to Narcissa.

"Of course," she replied. "And you played splendidly... for a Gryffindor."

"Excuse me? I could wipe up Slytherin blindfolded and Cofundus-ed!"

"I know you could," Narcissa smiled.

"The pitch should be clear about now, do you want to go for a ride?" Sirius asked.

"Promise not to do anything dangerous?" Narcissa countered.

"Absolutely," Sirius smirked, thinking everything he did on a broom was perfectly safe and knowing she didn't think so.

"My version of safe."

"Okay," he conceded. He would take what he could get. Narcissa clutching to him for dear life would have to come on another day.

A/N: Please review even though there won't be another update until august. I'm going on vacation on Saturday and then I start working at a camp the Monday I get back and it doesn't end until the second week of august. Thanks for reading the second chapter and thanks to those who reviewed!!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Hey, Bellatrix," Remus Lupin called from down the hall.

Bella stopped and turned, mask and glare firmly in place. "Something you want, Lupin?"

He waited to answer until he was only inches from her, his hot breath tickling her ear. "Of course," he murmured, leaning closer. "I would like a prize for winning the quidditch match."

"What do you think you're doing, Lupin?" Bella hissed which was mirrored by Rodolphus' angry shout of the same as he pulled Bella away from the Gryffindor prefect.

"Just rubbing in Gryffindor's win," Remus replied calmly.

"Don't ever touch her again," Rodolphus sneered, pulling Bella closer and kissing her soundly. Bella neither pushed him away nor responded and Remus left, defeated.

Moments later when Rodolphus broke the kiss, her earned a resounding smack to his face for 'having the audacity to kiss her with out permission!'

* * *

"Sirius!" Narcissa screamed, "Get me off of this infernal thing now!"

Sirius laughed and steered the broom toward the ground. As soon as they were close enough to safely jump off, Narcissa did.

"My version of safe, remember?!" she shouted at him and started to stomp away.

Sirius grabbed her arm. "I'm sorry, Cissa, I couldn't help myself."

She glared at him and tugged her arm away. "I'm mad at you," she snapped, stating the obvious.

"I know and I'm sorry. I just--I like it when--you're the--oh never mind," Sirius tried–and failed to explain. He had just become unbelievably close to confessing his feelings to his cousin. He turned and walked away, leaving Narcissa to contemplate the meaning behind his stuttering.

* * *

Andromeda put the finished touches on the letter to her mother. All that was left was to read it to her sisters for approval and send it. Just then, her sisters came into the empty classroom they used as a meeting place.

"Let's hear it," Bella grumbled, still angry at Rodolphus for kissing her.

_Dear Mother,_

_While Narcissa was exploring the attic room, she came upon your diary. Now we all know what was in that diary and we don't need to come out and say it. All three of your daughters feel that since they know the truth of their heritage, that they be allowed to pursue relationships with whomever they feel since you did so yourself. Bellatrix and Narcissa are very unhappy with the matches that _father_ has made for them and Andromeda is in love with a muggle. We await your response impatiently as we would like to meet _him...

_Your daughters,_

_Andie, Bella, and Cissa_

"Sounds good to me," Narcissa said.

"Yeah, just send it already so I can be rid of Rodolphus," Bella snapped.

"Trouble in paradise with Remus?" Narcissa asked, a sly smile on her face.

"No!"

"Methinks she doth protest to much," Andromeda quoted from Shakespeare. Ted introduced the fantastic writer and poet to her.

"I agree," Narcissa said happily.

"Go find Sirius and just snog him already and leave me alone!" Bella snapped.

"Ooo, I guess Remus is a touchy subject for her, we should talk about something else," Andromeda giggled.

"He was about to kiss me and then _Lestrange_ came over and pulled me away, threatened Re--Lupin and had the audacity to kiss me in front of him!" Bella explained her crabby mood. "I would have smacked him earlier if not for appearances sake."

"I would have smacked him then," Andromeda replied.

"And that's why you're basically disowned," Bella replied hautily.

"Bella!" Narcissa admonished, seeing the hurt look on her eldest sister's face.

"What? Its true."

"I can't believe you, Bella. The three of us have to stick together, we're all we have left," Narcissa explained.

"I apologize, Andromeda," Bella said softly.

"Apology accepted. I'm going to go write a letter to Ted and send our letter to Mother."

After Andromeda left, Narcissa turned her gaze to Bella.

"Don't look at me like that, Narcissa. I know that I'm a horrible sister," Bella said, tiredly.

"You're not a horrible sister!" she replied, reassuring her. "Sometimes you just stick your foot in your mouth."

Bella sighed, thanked her sister, and walked out of the room and right into the Maraurders. 'Great,' she thought, 'Just what I need.' Instead of the customary sexy drawl of her first name, Re--Lupin ignored her, but his other friends didn't.

"Watch where you're going, Black," they told her as they passed. She swallowed heavily and gathered the measly amount of courage she had and called out for Remus.

"Lupin! I need to talk to you!" she shouted after them. The whole group stopped, Remus nodded to his friends, and walked back towards her as they continued to their destination. Bella didn't speak as he approached her.

"Well?" he asked, an uncustomary sneer on his face.

For some odd reason, Bella was feeling uncharacteristically shy and nervous. "Let me--let me just gather my thoughts for a minute, okay?"

"Okay."

Should I tell him? Should I not tell him? Why do I care what he thinks? Should I wait for Mother to write back? These questions raced through Bella's head and she didn't have time to answer them rationally before her mouth started working.

"The thing is Remus, I'm trying to get my betrothal to Rodolphus absolved. First of all, because I hate him and second of all, I... you... oh what the hell?" And she kissed him hard and passionately. It took a second for him to respond and in that second, fear like no other gripped Bella's heart. He lifted her off the ground with the force of his response. After they couldn't breath anymore, Remus slowly pulled away and set her down.

"Bellatrix," he drawled sexily. She closed her eyes and leaned into him, thankful that he was back to saying her name.

"Remus, please."

"Bellatrix, I won't be the other man, you must know that."

"I know."

"Then why did you do this to us? Now we can never go back."

"I know."

"So why?"

"I want to tell you the reason that I'm pretty positive that I won't have to marry Lestrange anymore, but I can't, not until I know that I will be able to do what I want without fear of repercussions," she explained.

"And I am what you want?" he asked.

"Yes," she breathed before kissing him again. He broke it before it could get too heated.

"Bellatrix," he whispered, "I have to go to my friends."

"I know."

"See you later," he said before kissing her forehead and leaving her alone in the corridor.

"I'm happy for you," Narcissa said from the doorway of the classroom.

Bella whirled around, not realizing that she had had an audience. "Thanks," she muttered and walked away.

Narcissa walked up the staircase, hoping to find Sirius before reaching Gryffindor tower. With no such luck, she walked down to the dungeons and on her way there she ran into Sirius who was looking for her.

"Hey, Cissa!" he greeted her with a quick kiss to the forehead and a ruffle of her hair.

She smacked his arm almost playfully. "Sirius! Don't do that!"

He showed her his signature grin. "I couldn't help myself."

She melted as she always does when he grins at her. "Well, don't do it again," she mumbled, knowing that he would.

"Sure," he replied as he slung an arm over her shoulder and started walking her back up to the main floor.

"Where are we going?"

"Nowhere," he answered, grin in place as he looked down at her.

"That's a lie," she said, smiling back.

"You caught me, we are going somewhere," he responded, playfully.

"Where?" she persisted.

"Nowhere."

"Sirius!"

"Yes?"

"Will you please tell me?" she asked, pulling out her puppy dog eyes.

"Oh all right. We are going... somewhere."

"Real mature, Sirius," Narcissa grumbled.

"What do you expect from a teenaged boy?"

"Not much, I guess."

"Exactly! So when you get something, you're happy! Just go with it, Cissa," Sirius explained. "Let me give you a surprise," he said more softly as he looked right into her eyes. Narcissa swore that he was going to kiss her, but he turned away, his face serious, and let his arm drop to his side.

"Sirius?"

"Yeah, Cissa?"

"Umm. I'll tell you some other time. Now where's my surprise?" she smiled, hoping that it would bring the mood back up.

"Over here," he replied, opening up the kitchens and showing her the chocolate chip cookies that he made. She enjoyed them immensely and thankfully, the upbeat conversation flowed. Before she knew it, it was time to get back to her dorm.

"Goodnight, Sirius," she whispered. "Thanks for a nice day."

"Anytime, Cissa," he replied, his voice husky from talking all day or something else. "Goodnight." He kissed her on the forehead and watched her walk away.


End file.
